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Sunday Muse

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week

I hope you are safe and well. 

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK, and our Thriving During Isolation module (which is free) I hope you find this useful and please feel free to share this resource and the video below with friends, colleagues and family.


Working at Home – Mental Health Video

More now than ever we need to use our emotional – ‘in’ tellegence

EQ- AKA- Emotional Intelligence, known but rarely used. How many of us spend time getting to know ourselves, never mind others?

Time is a big talking point just now- but again I ask how many of us actually have all these hours the media are saying we have?

If you are at the rock face supporting and leading, then I imagine you do not have a lot of time to get to know yourself and be able to sit down and have a wee word with ‘you’ and ask yourself some powerful ‘inner’ intelligent questions!

Yet- it’s going to be more and more important that you do.

So your muse today, is just that- have a read, reflect and then ask yourself  what do you need going forward?

Check out my article and then have a look at a One Hour Bubble Webinar training where we can muse and coach together.

Five Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

In his article in Harvard Business Review titled, “What Makes a Leader,” Daniel Goleman highlights five characteristics of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill.

emotional intelligence


Self-awareness is the foundation for both emotional intelligence and self-leadership.

All the other characteristics of emotional intelligence hinge on this one. Our capacity for self-awareness determines our self-leadership potential.

Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand our moods, emotions, drives, and how they all affect others.

With self-awareness, you can observe when a situation, thought, or person triggers you. You can provide a realistic self-assessment of your current emotional state and the drivers behind your behaviour.

Seriousness or a rigid view of oneself blocks an accurate self-assessment.

Goleman finds those with greater self-awareness have a self-deprecating sense of humor. To see yourself clearly—including the often irrational reactions you have in situations—requires light-heartedness.

Self-awareness is a vital skill. We’ll discuss ways of developing this skill below.


Self-regulation is the ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods; to think before acting.

Those who can regulate their emotions have greater integrity, which makes them trustworthy.

But self-regulation doesn’t mean repressing your impulses; it means being flexible, open to change, and comfortable with ambiguity.

Internal Motivation

Motivation is the ability to work for reasons beyond money or status; to pursue goals with energy and persistence.

Abraham Maslow invested much of his career studying intrinsic motivation.

He found that most people focus on meeting their basic human needs like physiological, security, belonging, and self-esteem needs. External motivations drive all of these basic needs (for example, material possessions and what other people think).

Self-actualising people, in contrast, are internally motivated. They show a commitment to actualising their potentials, capacities, and talents. Self-actualising individuals often feel a sense of mission, calling, or destiny.

Internally-driven people are optimistic, even in the face of failure.


Empathy is the ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people and to treat others in accordance with their emotional reactions.

This quality requires a close connection to one’s feelings.

We can only understand the emotional reactions of others by knowing our reactions and triggers. We all come hard-wired with the same emotions.

The more we’re able to feel and understand our emotional landscape (including negative emotions), the larger our capacity for empathy for others.

Social Skill

Social skill is the ability to find common ground, build rapport, manage relationships and foster networks.

With social skills, a person can influence and persuade others, lead them toward change, and foster high-performing teams.

As in all other lines of intelligence, we can learn, develop, and grow our emotional intelligence.

Check out :Emotional Intelligence One Hour Webinar Training

2 modules which I can Zoom or Skype with you. Where we can have a discussion and and a Q&A and some coaching.

Today’s muse comes from my muse on how people are coping just now. I have many conversation a week, and a thread I am noticing is #blame’.

Blame can be subtle or it can be very in your face, so much so it can make  you step back wondering what has just hit you!  “Yikes!!!–where the heck did that come from?!”

No its not other people that blame, everyone of us has the blame gene, it’s one way we can reason with fear and uncertainty.

But when blame becomes hostile and intimidating, then what do we do? How do we respond? After-all when we are attacked, our natural reaction is fight or flight. Right?

So first let’s dig deeper and start understanding blame, so we can make our choices on how we respond. 

Please do get in touch if this muse resonates with you as I am offering a one hour webinar bubble – FREE – I will coach you through how to respond to blame, and keep safe! 

Please feel free to share.

Take care of yourself and each other 


Two Lessons on Blame

Blame releases discomfort and pain: We often try to fault others for our mistakes because it makes us feel like we’re still in control. “I’d rather it be my fault than no one’s fault,” says Brown. But leaning into the discomfort of mistakes is how we can learn from them. “Here’s what we know from the research,” says Brown, “blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability. Blaming is a way that we discharge anger.”

Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain.

Blame is faster than accountability: Accountability is a vulnerable process that takes courage and time. “It means me calling you and saying, hey my feelings were really hurt about this, and talking,” says Brown. “People who blame a lot seldom have the tenacity and grit needed to hold people accountable. Blamers spend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds and figuring out whose fault something is,” adds Brown. It’s difficult to maintain relationships when you’re a blamer, because when something goes wrong, we’re too busy making connections as quickly as we can about whose fault it is, instead of slowing down, listening, and leaving enough space for empathy to arise.

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